These past two days have been tight. A few posts ago I wrote about having to go up to Dr's early and get some fluid removed because I could hardly eat anything. After that I found myself being able to over eat again. At Easter dinner I said to Bryan "I should not be able to eat this much" but I could, and I did. So Tuesday I'm scheduled for a fill which should speed up the weight loss again.
For whatever reason I've been super tight, especially today. I've thrown up everything I've tried to eat. I can't get anything down. So here I am tonight sipping on wine and eating ice cream cake that we had left over from the kids birthday... Since they seem to slide down nicely.
Derby is going well. I can see little improvements physically each time, but emotionally its been pretty brutal. I just have to remember that I know myself better than anyone, and I can't let anyone take this experience away from me. I will not use my weight as an excuse, however it is my reality right now and I am not an athlete... Yet. I am the biggest girl on the team, (story of my life) but I'm learning how to use my body to my advantage. I'm such a slow learner, I always was in school so I've been feeling completely incompetent which has been destroying me. I need to snap out of it and keep going.
I'll check in after my fill
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